


they say your head can be a prison (and these are just conjugal visits)

by ElasticElla



Category: The Good Place (TV), The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: (early s1 for the good place), (for the librarians), Chidi-centric, Crossover Pairings, Dragons, M/M, Season/Series 01, Season/Series 02, spoilers for the end of tgp's season one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 11:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11782380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: Ezekiel visits the Good Place by mistake, opening a door into Chidi's apartment.Chidi just wants to know why there's a handsome stranger with adragonin his living room.





	they say your head can be a prison (and these are just conjugal visits)

**Author's Note:**

> surprise! 50% less angsty than i anticipated with the prompt ^.^  
> title from fob's the take over, the break's over

Chidi’s debating Newcomb’s paradox when he hears noises coming from his living room. (He thought if there was an afterlife he’d have enough time to solve all the paradoxes, but he’s yet to complete _any_. Not even the simple one box or two box decision theory problem, and that’s even more problem than paradox.)

“-will be a lovely hell for you Smauggy. Look I know you wanted to stay up top, but burning buildings has consequences. You shouldn’t have been caught little fella-” 

“Excuse me,” Chidi says, eyes wide. “Why do you have a _dragon_ in my apartment? Who are you?” 

The man jumps, and the little golden red dragon- it must be a baby- flings himself into Chidi’s arms. 

“Ezekiel Jones, at your service,” he says with a small bow and Chidi pushes away the instant thought of how attractive he is.

“Chidi,” he says, and the dragon gently headbutts his arm until he starts petting him. The dragon reacts much like a cat would, and that’s a curious thought if maybe they were related somehow or-

“Sorry, this realm was supposed to be empty,” Ezekiel says, looking around and touching a few of his trinkets. “I thought it’d be warmer.” 

Chidi scratches under the dragon’s chin, and he makes a happy growly noise.

“Aw, Smaug likes you!” 

Chidi smiles, feels calmer than he has since the whole debacle with Eleanor. “The Good Place has central air. Heating too I’d guess, but we’re in a warm neighborhood.” 

“Ah! Wrong world, that might've been my fault. Smaug come on, you know you don’t belong here.” 

Chidi’s never seen a dragon pout before- or well do many things- but there’s no other way to describe the dragon’s pupils going huge, and his body curling in to be smaller. 

“He could stay?” Chidi finds himself offering and Smaug chirps. It’s perhaps the most impulsive offer he’s ever made, and oh dear what if Michael said the dragon couldn’t stay? He couldn’t tell Michael, just like he isn’t telling him about Eleanor and the stomach ache comes back. Could he develop an ulcer in a utopia? Oh dear, oh dear he’s really ruining the balance.

“Sorry mate, very southern locales only,” Ezekiel says. He holds out his arm, and with a firmer tone he calls, “Smauggy.” 

The dragon gives one little last coo before flying over to Ezekiel, and Chidi feels a sudden rush of relief and disappointment. 

“Well it was nice visiting upstairs, we have to be off though,” Ezekiel says. 

“It was nice to meet you,” Chidi says, and Ezekiel and the dragon just walk out through his bathroom door. Chidi heads over there, but the bathroom is empty and everything is as it was before Ezekiel Jones popped up in his apartment. There’s an odd feeling in his stomach, and Chidi’s going to blame it on meeting a mystical creature and be done with it. 

Chidi is halfway to convincing himself that maybe he doesn’t belong in the Good Place at all- after all he’s willing to lie to Michael, to cover for someone who clearly doesn’t belong, and he’s never had so many ethical dilemmas in such a short period of time- when his bathroom door glows. Ezekiel and Smaug come back through, an awkward smile on the man’s lips. Chidi yanks his gaze up, strange men appearing in his apartment is _not_ going to be his new type. 

“Did you forget something?” Chidi asks, and much like before, Smaug flies into Chidi’s arms. 

Ezekiel scratches the back of his neck, “Well I have good news and bad news. The good news is Smaug can stay with you.” 

“Hey that’s wonderful,” Chidi says, staying still as Smaug climbs up his shirt and nestles around his neck. “I thought Smaug needed, what was it, somewhere further south?” 

“Yeah… that’s the bad news mate, you’re in the Bad Place. But, with all Smaug’s natural magic none of the demons can do much to a dragon.”

Chidi stumbles into a nearby chair, Smaug nipping his ear. He pets Smaug’s neck in apology, trying to process. “I… I don’t understand. I spent my entire life chasing the truth and trying to live as virtuously as possible.

Wait… _demons_? Wouldn’t I have y’know noticed evil red things with horns?”

Ezekiel shrugs, “They came up heavy on this realm’s readings. Everyone but five people?” 

“That’s impossible,” Chidi quickly says, “that would mean some of the residents here are- they’re not. That’s-” 

His mind is going into overdrive with all of the possibilities. Maybe Eleanor was a demon enjoying his ethical dilemmas, or Tahani the perfect woman next door, or Michael the maker of their world, or, or, or-

Smaug rubs his small head against Chidi’s neck, with the low vibration and growling Chidi’s beginning to think of as purring. Chidi turns to Ezekiel suddenly, a new theory snapping into place. 

“Or _you’re_ the demon, sent here to make me question all of my friends.”

Ezekiel isn’t mad at the accusation though, “That’s a fair conclusion. Not sure why I’d let Smaug stay with you if I was-”

“And that’s another thing! _Why_ is his name Smaug?”

“Now, now, let’s not bring the wee dragon into things,” Ezekiel starts, hands held up. 

His stomach freezes, “Tell me this isn’t somehow the actual Smaug from Lord of the Rings. I mean that’s impossible. Right?” 

“Technically Smaug was in the Hobbit-” he starts, and the dragon rubs at his neck faster. Chidi can’t help bringing a hand up to scratch under his chin, and Smaug makes a happy little chirp. 

“Ezekiel please.” 

“He was just born from the book. He hasn’t eaten any dwarves or done any of the things- well he tried to rob a jewelry store and-then-set-Manhattan-on-fire but! He’s such a young dragon, he can’t even speak yet.” 

Smaug nods against his palm, and Chidi sighs. “Okay.” He pushes his glasses up with a finger, “But I still don’t know how to figure out who is a demon. Wait- are you alive?”

“’Course I am! Right, uh sorry,” Ezekiel adds on sheepishly. “Why do you ask?” 

“You’re able to come up- down, whatever- here. Does that mean I could leave with you? Who are you anyways? How can you get here?”

Ezekiel chuckles, “Not yet, I need to check some magic. If you came with me now I think your soul would be lost to nothingness? And magic man, makes almost anything possible.” 

“Hah, yeah that’s-” Chidi stops when the bathroom door starts glowing again. “-uh for you?” 

“Damn, I’ll come back when I can.” Ezekiel’s gaze dips down to the dragon, “Be a _good_ boy Smauggy.” 

Ezekiel rushes out, and Chidi is left alone in his apartment with a young not-quite fictional dragon. 

Death has turned out to be rather odder than life. 

.

Chidi decides to go to Michael first. 

Well, _decide_ is a strong verb. He’s pretty sure he’s going to Eleanor or Michael when he leaves his apartment. He’s wearing a hoodie that’s uncomfortably warm, Smaug bunched up below the hood. He’s almost sure Michael is the right person to go to first- well not _right_ but more extreme with a possibility for escape. If Michael is a demon, Chidi’s screwed. Game over. But if Michael’s somehow been duped, then perhaps the architect can free them. (His first thought is Janet, but an AI had to be the easiest to fake being good right?)

He wants to go to Eleanor first though. Eleanor is his friend, and even if her being human points towards this really being the Bad Place and she can’t help them get out, he wants to tell her first. 

But he can’t risk losing Eleanor’s friendship, no he can’t risk Michael being able to set them free, no he can’t- 

Chidi is at a literal fork in the road, one road to Eleanor’s, one road to Michael’s, and one to Jianyu’s. Jianyu he rules out quickly, but then reconsiders- maybe a silent listener is all he needs. Maybe it would help him decide what to do next? But for that he could just go back home and talk to Smaug. This is silly, he should just wait for Ezekiel to come back and hopefully have a way to earth and no one will see the dragon he’s smuggling around. 

Michael pops up then, making the decision for him, “Something’s different about you. Hair cut?” 

“Uh no,” Chidi says hoping he’ll stop looking anywhere near the hood.

“You started hot yoga?” 

“No.” 

“I know! Your favorite color changed to turquoise!” Michael exclaims. 

Chidi blinks, “Is that discernible?” 

Michael shakes his head, “Not precisely.” 

Chidi looks around at all the people milling about, “Can we talk somewhere?” 

“Ah, that’s what it is. Janet!” Michael calls. 

Janet pops up a second later, and Chidi tries not to give her a suspicious look. “Bring us to the viewing room please.” 

She teleports them to a room that’s all screens- walls, ceiling, and floor- quartered. Each set of four follows Eleanor, Tahani, Jianyu, and the last screen is empty. There’s no furniture in the room, no windows or doors.

“Oh no no no no,” Chidi murmurs. 

“Oh yes!” Michael exclaims, clapping his hands together. “You see you might have discovered you are in the Bad Place early, much too early. But now you’ll watch all of your friends suffer and you won’t be able to do one single thing about it. Poetic since in life you couldn't make decisions.” 

Smaug growls, and Chidi grabs his stomach. 

“You’re hungry?” Michael says, cackling. “Janet bring in the buffet of despair!” 

Janet pops out and in, a large buffet table returning with her. 

Michael lifts the first one, “Ahh the salmon supper you had with Udo when he broke up with you. Smells very tragic with a hint of choked up tears. I’ll leave the rest as a fun surprise down memory lane.” 

“You can’t just leave me here- the others will know I’m gone,” Chidi says. 

Michael shrugs, “I think it’ll make a fun mystery: what happened to Chidi? How long do you think before we can get Eleanor to believe it was her fault?” 

“Don’t-” Chidi starts, but Janet and Michael pop out of the room. 

Chidi crumples to the floor, and Smaug crawls out of his hiding spot. He squaks, and then takes off, flying around the room, headbutting each of the walls. 

“I think we’re stuck here buddy,” Chidi says. Smaug tries the ceiling, and then lands in Chidi’s lap, curling up. 

“Yeah,” he sighs, rubbing Smaug’s belly. 

.

After three days, Chidi gives up on breaking out of the room literally. Smaug can’t set the screens on fire, Chidi can’t break any of them- throwing a plate only resulted in porcelain shards going everywhere, not a speck of damage done to the screens. The table is way too heavy to lift into them, and by day four, Chidi’s too hungry to keep ignoring the contents. 

There’s a chicken blue-cheese salad that looks good, and Chidi takes it. It looks like the salads from his university days, but he can’t remember anything particularly bad happening around one. The first few bites are okay, and stomach grumbling, Chidi scarfs down the rest. 

And then it suddenly comes to him: this was what he was eating when he got the call from home telling him his grandmother had died. He’d been putting off seeing her because he was so close to finishing his thesis and a trip home always took at least ten days- 

Smaug nips his ear, yanking him out of his head. 

Chidi lets out a slow breath, petting the young dragon. “Thanks.”

The problem is there isn’t much to do in the viewing room besides, well, _view_. Chidi doesn’t want to watch his friends get subtly tortured, but the great escape isn’t happening any time soon and watching is better than what his imagination comes up with when he doesn’t. After the salad he doesn’t want to risk eating again, and it’s not like he _needs_ to- he’s already dead. Smaug eats the food without any problems, thoroughly enjoys a hunk of roast pork from the worst New Years party ever. 

Day five or so, he’s napping when a voice wakes him. 

“Chidi? Mate can you hear me?”

Smaug’s jumping around him, and Chidi stands up with a startled grin- Ezekiel's face filling the previously blank screen. “Ezekiel? How are you sort of here?” 

Ezekiel tilts his head back in a warm laugh, “I’m the great Ezekiel Jones. I can hack into anything on Earth or in the afterlife.”

Chidi looks around suddenly as though Michael might show up, “Won’t you get in trouble?” 

Ezekiel shrugs, “I’ve been told I have a problem with authority. Speaking of- why’d they put you here? Kinda creepy place.” 

Chidi winces, “Yeah. Michael, the architect, he just knew I knew what he was and here we are.” 

“Huh, I’ll have to tell Cassandra their perception’s different than we thought…” Ezekiel trails off. “Never fear though, it’ll make it easier to spring you and Smauggy out since you’re isolated.”

Chidi licks his lips, can barely believe his ears, “Really?”

Ezekiel grins, “I would never leave a lad in distress.” 

Chidi’s ears burn- and he can’t decide between trying to flirt back or just outright ask the man if he’s reading this right- when there’s a high pitched beep.

“Bugger, there’s someone-” Ezekiel breaks off, meets his gaze. “I’ll come back for you.” 

And then the screen goes back to black.

Chidi turns to Smaug, extends a hand that the dragon walks under, rubbing his back under his palm.

“Hope,” he says, torn between genuine excitement and trepidation. “Haven’t had that for a while. Not even before when I thought this was a utopia. I was too stressed out over, well, everything.” 

Smaug coos, and Chidi chuckles, scratching under his chin. “And you’re just the cutest dragon there ever was.” 

Smaug makes his low happy growls, and Chidi just talks to him. Tells him all about his life before death and after, petting him all the while. 

.

Chidi’s lost count of the days when there’s a loud blast and a huge hole appears in the far screen. Chunks of concrete fall, a rubble threshold and the remaining screens on that wall are all shattered images. Smaug chirps, hops up onto Chidi’s shoulder as he quickly stands up. 

And there, in the newly formed doorway is Ezekiel Jones with a wide smile, sunshine pouring into the room around him. “I’m here to rescue you.”


End file.
